Complexity.

I began this blog as a place to be me. Its a life blog. So let me tell you guys about me.

This is me. Here are some facts:
1. Im 15 years old (16 in 4 days)
2. I love anything crafty/creative. (i.e. Cooking, Photography, Origami, Scrapbooking, Sewing, Making Earings)
3. I started out as a fabulous student, but now I'm pretty horrible.
4. Im totally lost in this event we call life. (Is this whats called teen angst?)
5. I used to be a paranoid freak. (seriously I would check my kiddy purse every five minutes to see if I lost anything)
6. I break or lose pretty much everything Im gifted.
7. Im always at the brink of tears, but I rarely cry in anybody's prescence except my own.
8. Im one of those stupid teens that think all other teens are stupid.
9. I always wonder if my feelings of bitterness and sadness are the result of being a young kid or just the way I am.
10. I was born in argentina and moved to california when I was 5.
11. I have a bad case of nostalgia. ( I wonder what I'll feel when I'm fifty)
12. I don't want to marry, but I do want kids. (I'll esplain my reasons in a later post)
13. Music is what keeps me running. I'm the kid in school that always has earphones in her ear whether it be in class or not.
14. I have an extreme case of procrastination.
15. I'm called a hipster a lot. Is that good or bad?
16. I had to put in effort to like the smiths and I have to say it was worth it.(I absolutely love them now)
17. I don't have one genre I listen to. I like all music, whether is be rap, electro, indie, pop, rock, screamo, etc.
18. My only two major goals in life is to be able to travel (not the fancy kind) and to be able to support my parents.
19. I often feel my age discredits the things I say.
20. I used to often think of suicide, but the thought of my family and hell stopped me.
21. I'm a horrible 'christian' I walk along the lines between being an athiest and a christian.
22. My personality is perfectly made for someone who will be forever alone. (i.e. I stop liking someone when they start liking me. This had happened with every single guys i've ever had a crush on)
23. When I like someone I make it obvious my flirting outrageously.
24. I flirst a little with all the guys I know. It comes naturally. (I didn't realize this until my friends pointed it out)
25. I perfer being alone. I don't know why.
26. I realize that my pictures make me seem like a totally different person.

New camera.

Okay it's official the whole one post a day is not working. I wish it did. I wish I had the self discipline to be able to do it, but I don't. so for now...

I GOT A NEW CAMERA!

I'm actually good with money. I don't have urges to spend it or a bad habit of retail therapy. I don't have a hard time collecting money, but getting money is another story. Being a student with no job well money doesn't fall out of the sky. :(

However after saving up all my christmas money and not eating lunch for a couple of months I was finally able to get the canon t2i. I was going back and forth between the t2i and t3i as well as the nikon D3100 and D5100, but ultimately the t2i had a better deal so I decided to go with that.  The picture quality is amazing.

If you guys didn't know I Photography is a big hobby of mine. mostly because photgraphy has the ability to take a memory and make it something you can hold. Looking at a photo brings you back to the time and place of the event shown. I don't known if I'v told you guys before, but my only real life ambition is to travel. to have a job that requires traveling. And photos help me get through the days when i can't travel. I mean being able to travel all over the world is hard for most people, but getting a hold of photos of the world is much easier. And in a sense you can travel the world in just a few hours by just looking at those photos.

I don't know if I'm making any sense, but I'll leave you with a few pictures I took on my street.

Byebye :)

Day 2: Consistency & Quitters

So much for one post a day.

Consistency is obviously something I'm not good at. It's something I've struggled with my entire life. It seems like the only thing I've ever been consistent with is my failure at being consistent. Not being consistent has resulted in me being something i abhor. A Quitter.

I first realized my nack for not sticking with things whether it be hobbies, instruments, studies, etc. when I quit the flute. If flute was the only instrument I quit I wouldn't have been so worried, But prior to the flute I had also quit the piano and violen. I tried taking up the piano many times there after, but it always ended with the same result: Me Quitting. Still my mother never gave up on me. She kept pushing me to try new things Dancing lessons, singing lessons, guitar lessons, art lessons and so much more. I am so greatful to my mother for continuosly trying to help me find a skill. But she also made me realize that I'm a quitter something I'm not proud of. I wish my mother's efforts had payed of and I had something to show for it, but alas I that that may never happen.

Still I realized that my inconsistancy has led to me having many little skills. Because everytime I quit something I pick something up. Whether it be new hobbies like making earrings, knitting, downloading new music nonstop, or just writing a blog. I've learned a lot. Without my inconsistancy I may have never learned to play "more than words" on the guitar, or play 'sweet almond' on the piano. So although I am undeniably a quitter; I am a quitter with many odd skills. And I'd rather be that than someone with no skills at all.

I've been listening to Telethon-Emily Haines while writing this entry and I REALLY recommend you listen to it. It's hauntingly beautiful.

Day 1: Names

I have a plethra of names that I get called, but my main one is Gemma. I honestly don't mind what you call me. My name has always been something that people notice right away. Not gemma, but my other "real name" (although gemma is also on my birth certificate, in fact, I have 3 names on my birth certificate which is why I get called so many different things). My actual name is pronounced differently from how it is spelled (In a sense so is gemma. many people think it's spelled with a J not a G). This means many perplexed teachers, intresting first days at school, and questions, lots of them.

When I was little I hated my name. Coming from a foreign country was hard enough without having a perplexing name that brought questions I couldn't answer. I was constantly envious of the kids with easily pronounced names. Names like Jessica or Sam. However, as I grew up (not to say I'm not still a kid) I realized I liked my name. It was unique and meant no one forgot it after they learned how to pronounce it. To this day all my elementry teachers know my name.

A lot of people are very protective of their name. And i know that your name is essentially the first thing that your parents give to you that is filled with their love and effort. They probably spent weeks pondering over if kids will make fun of you if you have that name, or if a name is too ordinary for this special child their having. And most likely after weeks and maybe even months they will finally decide on what to them is the "perfect name".

However, I also feel that a name is just that. It's a just a title. It doesn't define you or make you who you are. If your name was Nia instead of Jenny you would still be the same person. Which is why I honestly dont care what people call me. I mean your name will change throughout your life. Right now I am called gemma, but 20 years from now I may be called Mrs. or Ms. ____. And 50 years from now I could be Grandma or Nana.  All different titles for one person. Which is why I think that the important part of your name is the feelings your parents, grandparents, or family friends put into picking it not the actual name itself. So please don't throw a fit when someone constantly calls you a different name.(which I'm very guilty of)

Thanks for reading my little schmeal on names.

Hopefully I'llbe posting something everyday. See you tommarow!